KimYe’s Wedding

The picture for our header is not ironic, we both are actually fans of Keeping Up With The Kardashians and its spin offs. No, really. While I would never want to actually be or be like the Kardashian-Jenners, they are still for the most part pretty enjoyable to watch – there have been some dud seasons and there tends to be lulls in each season where they make up fake and pointless stories like “Kim Gets A Butt XRay” – but you should still appreciate that there is a reason that the Kardashian shows are now in their seventh year with no signs of stopping.

Without a doubt, my favourite episodes are always the weddings. I only watched part of one other episode this season before deciding that it was probably a bad season, I had outgrown the show, and that 40 minute episodes were too long. Still, I can’t resist a good wedding!

The episode opened by saying that it was filmed by the friends and family of Kim and Kanye. I don’t know how true this is, as, aside from poor sound quality and slightly grainier picture quality, the shots themselves were fine. Also there was a lot of stock footage of Paris in there. I’m being pedantic.

I really like Kim and Kanye as a couple, and generally the Kardashians as a family. A lot of people don’t, but those people usually don’t watch the show, or have real opinions about real things. I like Kanye West’s music, and I admire Kim for achieving such sustained success following a sex tape. As a couple, neither of them is particularly “winning”: they are both wealthy, good-looking (Kim is better looking), with success in their careers. They seem to like each other as much as they like themselves, and have similar interests in fashion. Also they both agreed on calling their child North West. That two people agreed on this as a name for a real human being shows that they must be pretty compatible if not moderately insane. In clips where they are together, they seem to genuinely love each other and show a different side to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West that is portrayed in the media. Additionally, since dating Kanye, Kim, who has long been my least favourite Kardashians, has matured and grown to be a more likeable and fun-loving person. More like Kim-yay!, amirite?!

You get to see none of the wedding – the episode is purely build-up.

Kim’s friends all seem to like Kanye and have lovely stories about how obsessed with Kim he was. This was actually very sweet and nearly moved me to tears because I am an unstable person who just loves love!

Drama came in the following forms: Kourtney is pregnant but nobody knew apart from close family and friends. Related to this, the bridesmaids didn’t like their dresses, but luckily Kim found some new dresses. Kanye didn’t like the ‘vagina slit’ in the new dresses but the bridesmaids did; Kanye won. Khloé had a hangover. Kylie had blue hair. Rob didn’t show up to the wedding.

Some of this, as in the bridesmaids dresses, was probably contrived, but that’s TV baby! Also, Kylie’s blue hair was no match for Jaden Smith turning up dressed as white batman.

The Kardashians and Kanye West are very rich. This episode really proves the point. They also know a lot of famous designers, and have the power to shut down Versailles, “which like has only been done once before in history.” They visited Valentino’s house, which is very nice:

And the venue for their wedding was more nice:

This was the best picture I could find.

I agree with Kourtney, as I often do, that I prefer Florence to Paris and could happily live there. Kourtney is my favourite Kardashian and the one that I most relate to. I think it has something to do with our birthdays being one day apart and us generally being quite similar people. Khloé has gone down in my books since her split with Lamar, but clearly she’s dealing with a lot of things and you’ve got to admire her for being strong. Something weird does seem to be happening to her face, and Kylie’s face: lay off the fillers Kardashians, you’re attractive people but you’re teetering on the side of bizarre.

I liked Kim’s wedding dress, others did not. It’s not a regular wedding dress and I like that. Also her veil was “like the biggest veil ever made.” These quotes are not verbatim.

If anything, Kim Kardashian is too good looking. I realise she has a team of hair and makeup people, but girl’s doing it right!

My single favourite line in the episode was said by Kim, who deduced that someone would be singing as she walked down the aisle and declared her two favourite singers as Kanye and Andrea Bocelli. Now there’s a woman with no discernible taste in music. (Turns out Andrea Bocelli did sing as she walked down the aisle)

Another episode highlight was the decision of how to kiss during the rehearsal:


Ah, young love.

Kim and Kanye are infinitely better together than Kim and Kris Humphries: “the bump and the hump”. I am hard pressed to think of two people better suited to each other than Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Khloé and Lamar were very sweet, and their wedding episode will always move me to tears as I am still an unstable person, but drugs are a shame.

The day after watching the episode I spent several hours pointlessly trawling the internet in what was one of my most unproductive days in years. Maybe watching the Kardashians does rot the mind.



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